
Last Tuesday I passed the one month mark on my journey to healthy. Woohoo! I am so grateful that I charged through the first month. I know that no month will be easy, but the first one is a big one.
Here are a couple of the things that I learned:
I had to work through the hunger. This was huge for me. For the first month I was often so hungry that I felt nauseus. It was distracting. I was feeding my body a very healthy amount of calories and healthy foods (as I still am now), but my stomach needed time to shrink. My stomach and I were at war. If I was by myself I would literally look down and say to it “I am feeding you well. Be patient. Please.” And then I would pray “God please either help my stomach to stay full or help me to be able to ignore it.” In my weaker moments I would curse it of course “Why do you hate me stomach? What is wrong with you!?” I wanted to abandon it, and there were a few times that I wanted to abandon ship altogether. I learned that I had seriously stretched my stomach and it had gotten used to being fed horrible foods in horrible excess on a far too regular basis. I had abused my poor little tummy and it needed time to heal. And truly I wondered if I was always going to feel this hungry. How could I maintain this if I felt nauseus so much of the time? But then, as I neared the one month mark, I realized one morning that I had altogether skipped my morning snack… Because I wasn’t starving. I noticed it all that day, that I would get slightly hungry when it was time for my next meal, but I didn’t have hunger pains. And then the next day too. It was awesome. I felt so much more freedom once I finally got out of the “constant starve” phase. And I realized that all the other times that I have tried to diet in my adult life, I couldn’t make it even two weeks for many reasons, but two big reasons 1: my lack of determination and prayer over it & 2: I couldn’t work through the hunger of the first few weeks. I had to work through the hunger, and I’m so, so glad I did.
Realizing and working through the roots of my issues with food. I just finished this book. I have learned a lot from ‘Women, Food & God’. (I’ll write a post about it soon.) It was a process in the first month, and will continue to be– working through my true issues with food. I have to get to the root of it. It is not an easy thing, but I know it’s a big component to truly being healthy and staying that way.
Mastering my eating habits. For me, it’s not just about eating healthy and staying within a healthy calorie limit. It’s the little parts of my eating habits that are actually big parts. It’s about figuring out what healthy foods taste good to me so I’m not punishing myself. It’s also about timing my meals in a way that works best for my schedule. I tried for about a week to not eat carbs after 3pm. I know it has worked wonders for some people. But right now, it just doesn’t work for me. I have a lot of day left to live after 3pm, and healthy carbs like fruit help me out big time. It’s also about trying new things so that I don’t get bored with what I’m eating. I am learning to do what works best for me. Because it’s about mastering my eating habits. It’s personal. And the only person that it has to work for is myself.
Working out = pushing myself. I will write more about working out soon, but one of the biggest things that I learned in the first month is how important it is to push myself… to try harder, to sink into the moves I’m doing, to keep going when I’m tired and sore, to give it all I’ve got, and not just go through the motions. I have learned to make my workout time truly count. Every day I’m tempted not to, but I have to push through that. I have a long ways to go before I am a “fit” person, but it all comes from working hard when I’m working out.
Remembering this is spiritual. I recently wrote about how I need God in everything, and especially in this. Every day I have to remember that this is spiritual, and I have to stay connected with Him. It is totally imperative for me.
This ain’t easy. There is nothing easy about my journey to healthy. Literally nothing. Some days I just plain don’t feel like doing this anymore. But I have decided that this getting healthy thing is not a choice at all- it’s what I’m doing. No choice. No turning back. Sometimes it just sucks, and it just feels like a plain old uphill battle. But I refuse to let myself go back to what I was before. No. Going. Back.
Hey… I think I feel better! At the end of the first month I realized how much better I feel in so many ways. I feel better because my jeans are a bit looser. I feel better because I have more stamina. I feel better because I’m working out every part of my body and strengthening it daily. I feel better because I don’t feel bloated or overly full. For so many reasons, I just plain feel better.
I know that every day my body, mind, spirit and heart are getting just a little bit healthier. And it feels so good, and so right.
Here’s to Month 2!
- – -Journey to Healthy is a series that chronicles my steps toward fitness, weight loss, and health. This journey is a tough and beautiful one. And I share about it here several times a week.